What Would (my therapist) Say?

I am struggling. Big time I am suicidal. I am self-harming (something I haven't done in over 10 years) I am slowly? (quickly?) relapsing into my eating disorder. I'm going from recovery focused to ambivalent. I bought a fucking scale today and have already weighed myself more in the past 5 hours than I have... Continue Reading →

Rant

Oh my goodness. I am angry. I understand when the average person is ignorant about eating disorders. I can understand that even my close friends and family sometimes say unhelpful things or triggering things without realizing it. That stuff makes me angry too, sure. But I had an experience on Friday that was so triggering... Continue Reading →

Risk Taking

I remember the day my dietitian told me I had to start taking risks with my food choices like it was yesterday. I was in hospital (inpatient) for about 2 or 3 weeks at this point. I remember meeting with her and saying boldly and proudly (despite my fears) that I was going to challenge... Continue Reading →

Dating and Recovery

I never thought I, of all people, would be writing a post on dating and recovery. My eating disorder has robbed me of so much in my life, including romantic relationships. Not because I lost a relationship (broke up) as a consequence of my ED (which I know is true for a lot of sufferers... Continue Reading →

Recovery isn’t Linear

I wrote about how learning that recovery isn't linear was one of the Top Ten Things I Learned in Treatment. I have certainly been reminded of that this week. These past couple days really. You see, yesterday was AWFUL. Defeat. Despair. Desperation. I used symptoms all day, and had full intentions to just keep using them.... Continue Reading →

To The Bone

  What kind of recovery blog would this be without my added two cents on the new Netflix release, To The Bone. Probably a much better one. But since  I watched it i figured I might as well post about it. First of all: it's a movie. It's not a documentary or based off a... Continue Reading →

Selah

Selah is a Hebrew word which means musical interlude. More specifically it means to pause and reflect... Like in a song when there is a musical break, maybe a nifty guitar solo in a rock song or a beautiful serenade of cellos or violas in something more classical. Anyways I have titled this blog post... Continue Reading →

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