So, I made a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mistake. I weighed myself after a 14 hour road trip. I mean it was probably a mistake to weigh myself anyways. I had been doing fairly well with blind weights for over a month now. But I went on vacation and my sister-friend has a scale and I didn’t ask her to put it away before I came here and as soon as I saw it- I used it. And now I step on that scale obsessively. But that’s not the point. The point is i weighed myself as soon as we got home and I was greeted with a number that was significantly higher then when I left. And I panicked. I mean I know that I allowed myself to eat a little more processed food than usual, and to enjoy some sweets and treats with my friends. And I know that I haven’t been as active as usual. So I was prepared for and even expected a slight increase, however my increase was far from slight and I was far from okay about it. I immeadiatley went through a list of ways to lose it and all those ways were symptoms or otherwise unhealthy.
Then my recovery brain kicked in. I’m so happy that I have a recovery brain.
I was able to realize that my “weight gain” was most likely due to water retention from sitting in a vehicle for over 14 hours. I was so relieved th figure that out and I was able to self talk myself out of symptom use. “It is probably water retention. This is common. Many people retain water after sitting for a long time. You were just in a car for a whole day without moving. Water will return to your blood cells and your weight will return to your set point in a few days. You will be okay. And even if it doesn’t, though it will, you didn’t use symptoms this trip and you are having a good time and a number on the scale doesn’t change how good of a time you’re having…”
So my plan, instead of symptoms, is to return to my mechanical meal plan, and return to my regular activity protocol, and trust my body to stabalise and sort itself out. I didn’t get too off track while travelling, and even if I did get off track a little bit it was only for one week, and instead of using symptoms to deal with my uncomfortbility I am going to choose my meal plan. At least for one week. I’ll let you know what happens in a week. For today I’m choosing to trust my dietitian and my body and I’m hoping that in one week they will prove themselves right (which would look like my weight change going back to my set point, which it should because I’m convinced (hoping) it’s (only) edema.
I might do another post on water retention because there is nothing ‘only’ about it! It’s stressful and uncomfortable! Ahhhhhhhh!
Also, I’m well aware if I didn’t weigh myself before my road trip, or as soon as I got home, I wouldn’t have to deal with my current state of anxiety. Trying to be at peace.
#eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #recovery #waterretention #edema #tipsandtricks